This is the celebrated journal of Mr. Simon Collison A.K.A Colly

Design error: the kitchen toilet

3rd August 2005

So, amidst all the client work, Em and I are redecorating the house, and over the weekend we collected an armfull of paint charts, decor guides and other bunf. Leafing through the Homebase bathroom guide, we discovered this image:


Further reading revealed more of these bizarre hybrid bathroom/kitchen designs. Now, what I’m wondering is, am I missing something, or do people actually want to shit in their kitchens? I’m sorry, but this is the most ridiculous design I’ve seen in a lifetime.

We were in stitches for about five minutes after seeing these wonderful fitted bathrooms. All I can see is a toilet attached to a kitchen cupboard, and a sink wedged on the worktop. Take a shit in that loo and you’re gonna have a right mess all over the floor, no?

What if you should accidentally put your washing in the bog? “Mum, where’s the spin on this washing machine? Oh, I see it.” One flush later and your smalls are ditched in bogwater.


“Mum, I need a drink. Where’s the lemonade?” Child finds bleach…

Bloody stupid design. Anyone who opts for this “flexible solution to bathroom storage problems” must be a fruitcake short of a whippet meeting. Crap, with a capital “fucking rubbish”.

Rant over, back to my ladder with my anger.


# Andrew responded on 3rd August 2005 with...

just how many cupboards do you need in a bathroom anyway?

# Terry Evans responded on 3rd August 2005 with...

I think a shower in the kitchen would come in far more handy - then, for instance, you could clean your pits and chop vegetables at the same time. No that’s multi-tasking.

# Tobias responded on 3rd August 2005 with...

to andrew i would like to say, have you ever lived with a girl? they just collect tonnes of sh.t and i guarentee that they could fill every one of those cupboards.

# Gerard McGarry responded on 3rd August 2005 with...

I’m with Tobias: I’ve never seen so much junk in a bathroom as only a woman can accumulate! Sorry if that’s sexist.

The only thing that’s missing (and I would love in my bathroom) is a media access point, so that you browse the web while on the throne! Do these things exist already? Somebody let me know!

# Ian Lloyd responded on 3rd August 2005 with...

Well, a hybrid could work in some instances. What about a lazyboy chair combined with toilet with adjoining fridge (beer only, no green stuff ... unless it’s cans of carlsberg etc). No more toing and froing between fridge, comfy chair and toilet, huzzah!

Seriously though, that does look pretty weird. Imagine coming downstairs for a morning bowl of brekky and seeing your realtives curling one out over the morning paper. “morning.” “Morning.” “Lovely ......ugggghhhh! day isn’t it” ..... [plop!]


# Simon Clayson responded on 3rd August 2005 with...

Think yourself lucky as Homebase is one of the better outlets. A quick shop around some other warehouses will quickly reveal a world of jaw-dropping bad design, and even worse build quality.

Simplified Bathrooms and Kitchens anyone?

# Wes Key responded on 3rd August 2005 with...

If you’ve ever lived in a terrace then the idea of bathroom in the kitchen has been about years. :)

I must say it comes in handy for keeping an eye on your chips whilst emptying out.

# Lee McIvor responded on 3rd August 2005 with...

Funny that, i’ve been looking at new bathrooms with the missus for the last week or two and thought the same thing. At first glance these actually do look like kitchens!

The one advantage i’ve spotted is that you don’t have to plaster the walls or box in pipes…hide it all behind a cupboard!!!

# Dave responded on 3rd August 2005 with...

Hmm so it’s just me that has no problem with the design’s of this bathroom.. the top one looks rather like my ensuite.. o well :S

# Scott responded on 3rd August 2005 with...

Whoa!  For a moment I thought I was reading my RSS stream.  Weird.

# Em responded on 3rd August 2005 with...

Just thought I’d catch up on my Simon’s candid thoughts on the old collylogic site, and this made me laugh (even more than we did when we saw these godawful pictures).  Glad to see we’re not the only ones who thinks these are odd.  BUT what I really want to know is, does anyone out there DISAGREE, and find these tasteful?

# steve keyworth responded on 5th August 2005 with...

My gilt and red velour commode has never let me down yet. A great plus of this device is its ball-bearing castors. I can either pull it up to the dining room table and shit while I eat or just get the missus to scooch it round in front of the telly and turd to the tune of Eastenders.

# Jason responded on 11th August 2005 with...

How Sweet!

# Richard Kendall responded on 23rd August 2005 with...

It certainly looks a good standard of workmanship, relaxing decor and clean lines. But I don’t think I’m chic, cultured and warped enough to get to get a the ‘kitchen-crapper 2005’.

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